throwing all shreds of my dignity+reputation away...
Message from one S.A.D. girl, to all you fellow S.A.D. people out there. HAPPY people need not apply to join the club, thank you. (credit goes to tk for coining the HAPPY pun) :
Just came back from dinner with >ica*-chan (part of our daily ritual), and we had a very happy, amusing talk indeed! ^_^
Part of our amusement stemmed from this very class blog, and the things that we've seen being posted on it, as well as the tantalizing hints that people drop in posts and comments. We speculated on many things (that i shall not reveal in the presence of the class guys. hohoho.), commiserated with each other on other things (you will have to kill me before i'll tell you), and generally had a very nice girl-talk session. (what, do i NOT look like i do girl-talk?)
Anyway, it seems that lots of people in our particular age bracket seem to be going through the same phase right now.
To wit:
1) a wish to renounce membership from the S.A.D. club
2) a wistful hope to meet The One (who is either nowhere in sight, or already taken. the future looks bleak, horizon looks depressingly empty, prospects look slim, yadda yadda)
3) unrequited paternal/maternal/familial instincts (unfortunately, fulfillment of #2 is generally, although not always, a pre-requisite for the fulfillment of #3)
Psychologist Erik Erikson modelled human life with 8 stages of crises that apparently everyone has to go through:
Infancy (0-1 yrs) - Trust vs mistrust
Toddler (1-2 yrs) - Autonomy vs shame and doubt
Preschool (3-5) - Initiative vs guilt
Elementary school (6-12) - Industry vs inferiority
Adolescence (13-19) - Identity vs role confusion
Early adulthood (20-40) - Intimacy vs isolation
Middle adulthood (41-65) - Generativity vs stagnation
Late adulthood (above 65) - Integrity vs despair
Most of us (including me) seem to be right on schedule. Looks like Psych 202 - Intro to Psych, can actually be applied in some fashion after all! Will wonders never cease... (you'll have to excuse me here. i mean, psych is fun to study and all, but damn, they sure have lots of utterly conflicting theories that are unfortunately all correct and applicable, depending on the type of case and situation under question. one kind of wishes that they'll just make up their minds already... *headache*)
Actually, I wanted to pontificate at length on this topic of love and attachment and the like, except I had all sorts of weird, disjointed things swimming around in my head, and I didn't quite know where to start, so I shall content myself with posting about Monsieur Erikson's theory (for the moment, at least).
Any random gems of wisdom that the gentle readers may wish to add are most welcome. *grinz* (window, meet my reputation. reputation, adieu!)
26 Comments:
*clinks glasses* cheers!
i agree, our dear tk is trying hard to win the wu gui wan ba dan race and set up a cosy family :) i will be godfather for the kid, if the first child is boy
Hey. Don't you also try to divert attention, since you put yourself in the S.A.D. club. Nobody forced the D. tag onto you.
LOL. TK actually labelled himself S.A.D. quite unbelievable.
so what does HAPPY stand for? is it an acronym? i can see it as an antonym, yes.
hey deb does that theory explain why such things occur at such age? it's weird. ppl around me are all getting attached left right centre or moaning about not being attached while everyone around them are attached. is this a sydrome of us going to hit the big TWO_O sooon???
S.A.D president TK has one more year to hit TWO_O... heh he's not even 19 yet. ;P
It's amusing to hear all these talk coming from this class. esp from the guys. lol.
Life is just so weird.
oh ya... CS! u so biased! you ah. so if the child's a girl, den u ll nt want to be the godfather lah. aiyo. LOL... CS is thinking so far ahead liao.
hahaha okie we can all be godmothers and godfathers to each other's kids k. wld be interesting. hahaha.
*amused*
hey! i say someone go get married quick! i want to attend a wedding of some sort (not seeing anything of that kind down the bleak and lonely road that seems to be my future at this sad point of time [pun fully intended])
anyway... it seems that this phenomenon isnt restricted exclusively to the (amazed look) 4k guys.. i second your point SK! haha.. everyone ard me seems to be er... wishing to renounce membership of the SAD club... haha.. ah.. gettin' old sia! whee!!
I must say, all this incredibly amusing!!! (i'm so proud of myself for initiating this dialogue. ohohohoho. *preen*)
Jess and I did have a very amusing lunch again today, talking about the entertainment that the class blog is bringing to our lives. Here's hoping that things carry on this most-promising direction! *clinks glasses with >ica*-chan*
I agree totally with TSK! This is positively SURREAL, I tell you. Back in the past, TK and CS were the ones fronting the whole male-bonding movement, and making the most noise... After looking at them now, Jess wisely concluded that it was all a "fake MCP act". (i must confess, i really cracked up at the 'fake mcp act' description.)
Anyway, it was during Math lecture this morning when it suddenly occurred to me that "Hey, if our class people remain unattached, doesn't that mean I'll have no wedding dinner to attend?" The tragedy!
My childhood was defined by all those wedding dinners I had to attend, the "yam sengs", the shark's fin, those funny little boxes they give out at the end with a slice of cake inside, etc...
And if the 4K people don't get attached => don't get married => don't have children => I cannot give out baby booties and eat red eggs! Integral part of life lost! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Quick ah, you guys! Get attached, get married! Don't deprive me and Jess of the weddings and the red eggs! *thinking very far ahead into the future*
>ica*-chan and I concluded over lunch that, despite the "fake MCP act" (hohoho), CS and TK are quite likely to get married first. So... since apparently neither of them wants to be the 'wu gui wang ba dan', the two of us came up with the perfect solution:
Get married on the same day! Then you can both be 'wang ba dan' together! *snickers* Of course, the drawback is that you can't be each other's best man, unless you're a good-enough multi-tasker that you can be both groom and best man simultaneously... But other than that...
*highly amused*
And in reply to TSK, yep, Erikson's model is quite highly regarded in psychology, actually. And it certainly seems to be kicking in right on cue...
what has that got to do with me?? it is not my fault that all the girls i know are of low stds rite? shall we accept mediocrity? shall we give up excellence? shall we forget our junior college vision? dhs vision? shall we stoop and bend ourselves over and accept inferior products on the market? if all the above questions are no, then why blame us poor guys for being S.A.D, blame the girls, it is all their fault...of course knowing my quest for excellence, i am more than willing to kno about superior products if u know of any? :)
There is a very long post that I feel inspired to make in reply to that.
But it is late, I have a quiz tomorrow, and a lab report to write. We shall see when I manage to find the time to squeeze it out. *sweatdrop*
Meanwhile, hold that thought... Keep it on ice for a while, until I produce that post. I want to hear from the perspective of the class guys (including you).
GOH CHIN SIONG!
i have to agree with deb that despite all ur lamenting and TK's indifference, both of you ll prob get married first. hahah. i help the two of u draw tortoise on ur faces together okie.
and you are disgusting to say that all the girls u know are of "low stnd". that totally sucks. u can say that the girls u know are not ur type but to say that every girl u know are of inferior quality makes u sound like a mega MCP who thinks he's too damn high. and u think all of the girls are PRODUCTS. u think what u study econs so what. oh yar. PSC scholar.. ok lor. this is prob why u r S.A.D.
I should like to see your wife.some high quality product she must be. *bleah* ;P
hmmm on 2nd thots all CS's comments wld fit in with deb's theory of the fake MCP talk... LOL.
i dun think CS is such a yucky MCP.. unless he has totally changed since he left.
I am single. but not desperate, and most certainly not, if all the guys out there are all Piggish Products like what GCS makes himself out to be.
Thank goodness there are still nice guys around.
A question to ask the guys who proclaim themselves to be nice guys here:
What's the nicest thing u have done for a gal? The last time i asked someone this, he said he cant think of any... so that's prob the reason why he's S.A.D.
Well said, TSK! *applauds*
I still have a post that I'm still dying to make, (although everyone is probably tired of all my long-windedness by now) but meanwhile, that was an awesome comment!
haha, i have expected myself to be crucified, but i die a martyr, and my immortal soul lives on :) Guys, I have said what you wanted to say in the deepest pits of your heart, now rally to me!
and btw, my wife will be of the highest quality,of the highest virtues that the free market can throw up, with infinitely many buyers and a continuously shifting outward demand curve- BUT, there can only be one buyer, exclusive me :) haha
Truthfully, I cannot exactly blame you for having such high expectations, but are they realistically achievable?
I went through the "perfectionist" phase too, and really, I have never met the Perfect Guy either...
Just curious though, have you ever met a girl who fulfilled your stringent criteria? If you have, but she was already taken, then good for you. At least people like her actually exist. :)
So, have you ever seen anyone (however fleeting) who was good enough? Do tell. Or do you foresee yourself having to emulate Pygmalion and build your own Galatea?
You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out.
~Martha Graham
perfection... does not exist... sad to say... but it is these very imperfections that make life interesting. you seek a perfect girl CS? but would the perfect-full-of-virtues-blah girl WANT you at the end of it all? its an open and free market!? what makes you better than another guy on the street? you live a dream, you do. hahaha. =D
well, notice i did not use the word "perfect", i just say "highest" in quality, standard and virtues. Did I meet anyone like that? well, several times, but not in dunman high UNFORTUNATELY. Well, even if I meet a high quality product on a market, that doesnt mean I will fall heads over heels over the person, like all capitalists will tell you, you need to take into account DEPRECIATION of capital. The girl will also depreciate in time, and I unfortunately have not encountered a girl, who has a high probability of low maintenance and show capital regeneration and not depreciation yet.
well. GCS u r rather appalling. first u treat women as products. next u talk about depreciation of women. harloe! i wld like to see u not depreciate!
how about DEFINING what u mean by "highest in quality, standard and virtues"? such as she is the prettiest, most intelligent, most honest, most tactful,skinniest, fattest, darkest, fairest, most housewifely, most career oriented...
from these adjectives one can see that it is all v subjective. u can't have the highest quality in everything. she wld have to be a contradiction by herself.
what is considered best in one culture may not be so in another. in some tribes, the fattest women are the most prized, in our society, it's the skinnest, or those with the biggest assets? and u cant have someone who is the most housewifely yet also the most career oriented. so, sadly, our dear chin siong is asking for something that is impossible.
Moreoever, if she is indeed of highest quality, what reasons ll she have to choose a Piggish Product like you whom she ll deem of an inferior quality, who ll throw her away once she depreciates? I have got this inkling of thought that, perhaps, it is good for CS to get a Highest quality goddess - then he ll be henpecked. becos she ll be better than him in everyway. there's no room for him to be Piggish. As she is so superior, everything she says, she does, is beyond criticism. it wld be interesting to see CS being dumbfounded by what his wife says.
since u have met someone of that calibre, why did u not give pursuit? was it because u felt that u r of an inferior quality and deep down u know u wun like u?
sadly, while there may not be high quality female freaks in DHS, yes, there are such Piggish Products in Dunman High - GCS.
haha, why take it so personally ? I can say I am an asshole if that makes you feel better? Btw, I kindly request that you remove my name, it gives the illusion that you are shouting at me all the way from Singapore which is pretty scary.
Of course, no one is perfect, and I concede that I am hardly the most eligible bachelor in Singapore. But, in my eyes, if I have a wife, she will be my sapphire rose and all the rest of you girls will be weeds and locusts compared to her :)
hah
Btw, I like being treated like a pig, laze around all day, roll around in the mud (mud in certain parts of Middle East is suppoesd to have curative properties that will improve the human lifespan), being pampered by my wife? So what is wrong being a piggish product? I dun mind :)
And what is wrong with being hen-pecked? It makes life more interesting. It is a show of tenderness and love, so what is wrong with that?
I will be more than willing to suffer the melodious chirping of my hot chick :)
hahaha... i take my hat off to you. cant agrue with u.
may the piggish product and his sappire rose live happily ever after. ;)
arghz i duno how to put in a delete comments function. cant edit comments. sorry chin, ur post was rather irritating when i read it. hahaha. nth personal.
IHNS liao.. hahaha.
hey, i think this is the record long post sia... lol. 22 comments and more r coming...lol
That's the whole point. Chin Siong's 'highest quality' girl may be utterly screwed up according to MY std. And of course she has to be commented as the 'highest quality'. If not CS will be attacked again as some 'heartless flirt'.
On what's the nicest thing we have done for a girl: well, that's not how you detremine whether we are nice pple right? MCPs will sit in the living room playing PS2 and ask the girls to do all the dishes. Have we ever in history done that?
Our weakness is probably the inability to express ourselves appropriately. Hence if any one has mastered the skill of giving right presents at the right time, remembering nitty-gritty things, saying the right things at the right time, being nice yet not too nice etc etc pls share this skill. Guess we desperately need it.
This really has been a most lively discussion, I must say. The most active I have seen the class blog in a long, long time... *happy*
Although some people posted rather exasperating comments (-.-;;), hey, at least "blasting" each other was rather therapeutic, yes?
Hope we will debate more on such issues in the future! Doesn't have to be about love all the time, of course, but it'll be nice to discuss something a little more personal now and then, something that means something to you.
How important family is in your life. Whether the image other people have of you is what you actually are, or whether you've always been hiding behind a front. Any appreciative thoughts that you've ever had of your friends, but felt too embarrassed to tell them to their face.
Just be yourself. And maybe, if we ever manage to get together as a class again (i hope we do), I'll be able to say "Oh, at least I know more about so-and-so than I did two months ago."
Take care, everyone, and keep blogging! *wink*
Oh, haha, as a footnote, it just occurred to me that since I'm the one who started the post, I can trash any comment on this post. *power-drunk* (j/k)
So, if CS really strongly objects to seeing his name shouted from Singapore to Chicago, and TSK doesn't mind, just leave a note here, or MSN me or something, and I'll take the necessary steps to alleviate CS' torment and pain. ^^;;
And before I forget... the guys may scoff at girls now, but in the end... MUST INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING, OKAY! (serene conviction that CS and TK will get hitched one day soon) Whoever gets married, if you don't invite me, I'll sneak myself in somehow. Knock out a waitress and borrow their uniform or something. (hoho)
No, wait, that's wrong! Technically, I don't need to be the post-originator to delete a comment. Argh. *head-desks*
Sorry, just ignore me or something. *fades into background*
So he's one isn't he? Officer mah... hehhehz
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